In the event of my unfortunate demise...
In the event of my unfortunate demise,
Look kindly on my eccentricities.
For I was raised on stories, and they nourished my soul.
Please do me the courtesy of telling the trees of my passing.
They will ensure that the neighborhood knows and passes the word along.
Leave the contents of my house in place for two years and a day.
If certain things vanish in that time, be assured that their former owners have returned to take them back.
The rest of my estate is yours; do as you see fit with the contents of my home.
One word of warning--never, ever open the door that is locked. And please do not lock the door that is open. Doors are portals to more than one place, after all; always turn on the light before entering a room.
And please do not mourn for me. In the event of my unfortunate demise, know that I was (more than likely) exactly where I wanted to be at that specific moment.
I have no regrets.
With all my love,