Well, yesterday I decided that since I work less than two miles away from Target and TJ Maxx, I might as well stop by on my way home from work and see if I could find a $%#&ing bathing suit.
I hate buying $%#&ing bathing suits.
I have never once found a bathing suit bottom that looks good on me. Tops are no problem; I wear tank tops with spaghetti straps on occassion anyway, so it's not like I'm uncovering any more skin. But I don't make it a habit to walk around in public in my underwear.
I have fat thighs. There's nothing to be done about that; it's hereditary. I have St. Clair legs. I am predisposed to having fat thighs. And every single bathing suit bottom I've ever tried on has illustrated my fat thighs quite horribly.
This is one of the reasons why I like to wear long skirts.
So yesterday I went to Target and looked at their bathing suits. Saw a couple of nice prints, but I'm not really into flowers or 50s prints or olive green and red, which seems to be the going design this year. I'm also not in to bikinis, which also seems to be the going design this year. I found nothing at Target. (Remember, my budget for a new bathing suit is $25.)
Since it was so hot, with cicadas flying around dive-bombing people, I decided to kill two birds with one stone and stop at TJ Maxx too. I might as well, I figured, since I was already out.
So I hit TJ Maxx, and tried on six bathing suits, two of which were "Drop a Size Before Your Eyes" one piece bathing suits.
Well, I can safely say that yes, the DaSBYE bathing suits do make you look slimmer. But they just redistributed the fat to my back and made me look all weird back there. Not to mention that these things are as easy as corsets to get into, and have hardly any stretch at all.
I did find one in a nice print (kind of medievally) that I liked, but it had a hole in it that was already starting to run. So, no go for the DaSBYE.
The others were okay. I kind of liked a pale burnt orange one with stripes of different colors of orange (yes, even though I don't like orange per se, this was a kind of dull orange sherbert color and not at all bad.) However, the bottoms were just icky and the top was really just a tank top.
I came really close to buying a cobalt blue (with lighter blue trim) one piece, but didn't really like the way the design puckered up at the sides (it was one of those fake wrap suits, and I think it was sewn wrong, because it didn't hang right on the hanger.)
Finally, in desperation, I spotted a sale rack and found one that looked promising. It's a tankini, with a flowered print that's not too bright. Yellow hibiscus flowers and blue and black, but it looks screened somehow, with little dots and lines. (Does that make sense?)The straps cross in the back, and the top actually didn't look bad at all on me. The bottoms are bikini bottoms, which will never look good, but I don't care anymore.
So I checked it for holes, and bought it after I tried it on, for a grand total of $16. Urgh. I hate going $%#&ing bathing suit shopping.
I hate buying $%#&ing bathing suits.
I have never once found a bathing suit bottom that looks good on me. Tops are no problem; I wear tank tops with spaghetti straps on occassion anyway, so it's not like I'm uncovering any more skin. But I don't make it a habit to walk around in public in my underwear.
I have fat thighs. There's nothing to be done about that; it's hereditary. I have St. Clair legs. I am predisposed to having fat thighs. And every single bathing suit bottom I've ever tried on has illustrated my fat thighs quite horribly.
This is one of the reasons why I like to wear long skirts.
So yesterday I went to Target and looked at their bathing suits. Saw a couple of nice prints, but I'm not really into flowers or 50s prints or olive green and red, which seems to be the going design this year. I'm also not in to bikinis, which also seems to be the going design this year. I found nothing at Target. (Remember, my budget for a new bathing suit is $25.)
Since it was so hot, with cicadas flying around dive-bombing people, I decided to kill two birds with one stone and stop at TJ Maxx too. I might as well, I figured, since I was already out.
So I hit TJ Maxx, and tried on six bathing suits, two of which were "Drop a Size Before Your Eyes" one piece bathing suits.
Well, I can safely say that yes, the DaSBYE bathing suits do make you look slimmer. But they just redistributed the fat to my back and made me look all weird back there. Not to mention that these things are as easy as corsets to get into, and have hardly any stretch at all.
I did find one in a nice print (kind of medievally) that I liked, but it had a hole in it that was already starting to run. So, no go for the DaSBYE.
The others were okay. I kind of liked a pale burnt orange one with stripes of different colors of orange (yes, even though I don't like orange per se, this was a kind of dull orange sherbert color and not at all bad.) However, the bottoms were just icky and the top was really just a tank top.
I came really close to buying a cobalt blue (with lighter blue trim) one piece, but didn't really like the way the design puckered up at the sides (it was one of those fake wrap suits, and I think it was sewn wrong, because it didn't hang right on the hanger.)
Finally, in desperation, I spotted a sale rack and found one that looked promising. It's a tankini, with a flowered print that's not too bright. Yellow hibiscus flowers and blue and black, but it looks screened somehow, with little dots and lines. (Does that make sense?)The straps cross in the back, and the top actually didn't look bad at all on me. The bottoms are bikini bottoms, which will never look good, but I don't care anymore.
So I checked it for holes, and bought it after I tried it on, for a grand total of $16. Urgh. I hate going $%#&ing bathing suit shopping.
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