Dear Lord,
Hi, it's me. Again.
Yes, the impatient one. The one who would like a little sign to tell her that she's going to end up okay; that she'll get a job before her money runs out; that she will be able to pay off the credit cards and breathe easy for once...
Yeah. Me. I'm trying my best not to be anxious about this; I really am. I'm concentrating on the good stuff, like moving back with my family, Christmas, and everything else that's going on. But you know what? The #1 thing on my Christmas list this year is a decent job. Everything else is gravy. Good gravy, yes, but gravy nonetheless.
In my heart, I know this is the right decision. And yes, I'm an impatient person. I want to know that things will work out, not just feel or believe they will. I want facts, not fancy.
But life doesn't work that way. Every single one of us has to muddle through hoping that the future will be better. Not knowing. Hoping.
Sometimes it's hard to hope. It's hard not to hover over the phone, to check and recheck that it still works; to put all my faith in You. I find myself endlessly checking the job listings, trying different keywords, searching for something so I don't feel so helpless. But that kind of thinking only leads to more anxiety, especially since I'm not finding much in the Cincinnati Enquirer job listings.
I must be patient. I must trust in You, Lord, and I know this, deep down, but... it's hard when I don't know for certain things will work out. I need another miracle, Lord. Sometimes I don't think I deserve the ones I received, but I can't thank you enough for granting them. So I'll try to believe things will work out, and try not to hover over my phone, and try my best not to wake up at night and fret.
Patience is a virtue, after all. And I know I need to be more patient. But it's so hard.
Love,
Jen
Hi, it's me. Again.
Yes, the impatient one. The one who would like a little sign to tell her that she's going to end up okay; that she'll get a job before her money runs out; that she will be able to pay off the credit cards and breathe easy for once...
Yeah. Me. I'm trying my best not to be anxious about this; I really am. I'm concentrating on the good stuff, like moving back with my family, Christmas, and everything else that's going on. But you know what? The #1 thing on my Christmas list this year is a decent job. Everything else is gravy. Good gravy, yes, but gravy nonetheless.
In my heart, I know this is the right decision. And yes, I'm an impatient person. I want to know that things will work out, not just feel or believe they will. I want facts, not fancy.
But life doesn't work that way. Every single one of us has to muddle through hoping that the future will be better. Not knowing. Hoping.
Sometimes it's hard to hope. It's hard not to hover over the phone, to check and recheck that it still works; to put all my faith in You. I find myself endlessly checking the job listings, trying different keywords, searching for something so I don't feel so helpless. But that kind of thinking only leads to more anxiety, especially since I'm not finding much in the Cincinnati Enquirer job listings.
I must be patient. I must trust in You, Lord, and I know this, deep down, but... it's hard when I don't know for certain things will work out. I need another miracle, Lord. Sometimes I don't think I deserve the ones I received, but I can't thank you enough for granting them. So I'll try to believe things will work out, and try not to hover over my phone, and try my best not to wake up at night and fret.
Patience is a virtue, after all. And I know I need to be more patient. But it's so hard.
Love,
Jen
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