Here's my review of Van Helsing in two words:
It sucks.
To expand on that... (And it's not just the vampires, either; I have issues with them too...)
And yes, possible spoilers, so be forewarned...
What is the frigging deal with the dialogue?! The dialogue in this movie sounds like it came out of a bad romance novel! Or a bad horror novel at the very least. The guy who played Dracula looked like he wanted to burst into tears at any given moment (probably because of the corny dialogue) or perhaps his head hurt from the hair clippy thing he wore... I don't know. The "brides" were just annoying little twits, and even Anna seemed too much of a throw-in heroine than the progeny of four hundred years of a vampire slaying family.
And what is with her high heeled boots?! This is supposed to be 1888, right? Give me a break!
I had big issues with this movie. It tried to be The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and even that fell flat for me. (And that's saying a lot, because usually Sean Connery can save a bad movie, but that one just didn't work.) Van Helsing tried to be something it just wasn't. And I'm not buying the "Angel Gabriel" bit at all.
There's a big CGI blip that should have been a lot smoother (when he's rescuing Anna at the masquerade) and some of the creatures seemed really jerky at times. Poor Igor looked like he just had a stroke... I mean, sheesh! And while the music was halfway good, it lacked some sort of oomph that would make me buy the soundtrack. (I thought the acoustic bits were fine. But the other bits... just didn't work with the settings.)
The settings were good, though. There's some nice forest scenes. But the peasants are just stupid, and even the comic relief (Karl, if that's how he spells his name) fell a bit flat and predictable.
I told my sister that it would either be good or stupid. Well, I'm sorry to say I found it stupid.
However, we did get to see a new Harry Potter trailer, the Shrek 2 trailer I've seen a hundred times (I know all the dialogue therein) and the Spiderman 2 trailer. I think there was another one too, but I can't remember what it was. Hmm.
Anyway. This is one movie that can be missed. Goodnight.
It sucks.
To expand on that... (And it's not just the vampires, either; I have issues with them too...)
And yes, possible spoilers, so be forewarned...
What is the frigging deal with the dialogue?! The dialogue in this movie sounds like it came out of a bad romance novel! Or a bad horror novel at the very least. The guy who played Dracula looked like he wanted to burst into tears at any given moment (probably because of the corny dialogue) or perhaps his head hurt from the hair clippy thing he wore... I don't know. The "brides" were just annoying little twits, and even Anna seemed too much of a throw-in heroine than the progeny of four hundred years of a vampire slaying family.
And what is with her high heeled boots?! This is supposed to be 1888, right? Give me a break!
I had big issues with this movie. It tried to be The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and even that fell flat for me. (And that's saying a lot, because usually Sean Connery can save a bad movie, but that one just didn't work.) Van Helsing tried to be something it just wasn't. And I'm not buying the "Angel Gabriel" bit at all.
There's a big CGI blip that should have been a lot smoother (when he's rescuing Anna at the masquerade) and some of the creatures seemed really jerky at times. Poor Igor looked like he just had a stroke... I mean, sheesh! And while the music was halfway good, it lacked some sort of oomph that would make me buy the soundtrack. (I thought the acoustic bits were fine. But the other bits... just didn't work with the settings.)
The settings were good, though. There's some nice forest scenes. But the peasants are just stupid, and even the comic relief (Karl, if that's how he spells his name) fell a bit flat and predictable.
I told my sister that it would either be good or stupid. Well, I'm sorry to say I found it stupid.
However, we did get to see a new Harry Potter trailer, the Shrek 2 trailer I've seen a hundred times (I know all the dialogue therein) and the Spiderman 2 trailer. I think there was another one too, but I can't remember what it was. Hmm.
Anyway. This is one movie that can be missed. Goodnight.
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