I've been thinking lately about masks. Especially the masks we wear day in and day out (or, at least I wear--I can't really speak about anyone else.)
I think part of this stemmed from an article I read on one of the news sites about the murder of a 22-year old who belonged to 'two communities'--the 'real' world, one would suspect, and MySpace. That got me started thinking about how we perceive ourselves, and how others perceive us. If someone who knew you only online met you in real life, would they find that you were any different than what they expected?
Or even this scenario--if someone from work, say, saw you outside of work, how different would you have become?
I say this because I see myself wearing different masks in my every day life. It's disconcerting--in the least--when someone from one piece of my life connects with another piece, especially if I really don't have anything in common with that person.
Once I met a lady from work and her husband at Burlington, of all places. And another time, a guy from work hailed me across the checkout lanes at Meijer--another unwanted occurence.
And both times were weird, because I am a different person outside of work. Work--and the relationships between those I work with (save for a very few) is just that. Work. My way to pay my bills so I can do what is important to me, like live my 'real' life. ;)
When I leave the office, my mindset shifts. I will no more think about my job than I would, say, a Dodo. It ceases to exist. I put that mask away until I have to go to work again.
My masks are not that different. But they exist--very subtly in some occassions--and sometimes, when two pieces of my life collide, I find it difficult to accept the mergings. If that makes sense at all.
I think that's part of the reason why I tend to isolate myself--not because my Online Mask (which is made up of a couple of different masks, in truth) is any huge celebrity, but because that's the Mask that I've chosen to let people see. And if I wanted to be really honest, that's the Mask that is the closest to being me, if any mask could be closer. Warts and all. :)
I find the division between the Work Mask and the other masks I wear to be the most distinct. And maybe I'm analyzing this too much, but it seems that even with the sharing of personal histories that has happened with some of my corworkers, some of them would have no earthly idea what to make of the 'real' me. I find that awfully amusing.
I was never one for posturing or pretending that I am anyone other than myself. So it's hard for me sometimes, to remember which mask I'm supposed to be wearing.
Okay, I could go on like this for hours. And I've probably not explained this very well; when it comes to things like this, Grey seems to be able to say what I mean without breaking a sweat. :)
***EDIT*** Dad suggested that it's like when you were in school and happened to see one of your teachers out of the classroom. So I guess it's like a familiarity thing--like when Dad's koi jumped out of the aquarium that one year and landed on the porch floor. My subconscious, "There's a fish on the floor" long before my conscious mind caught up with the strangeness of it and did something about it, namely grab the fish and put it back into the tank. ;)
Okay, and in the teacher vein--I once saw my band teacher at Wal-Mart or KMart or something like that. It was very strange. I actually went out of my way to avoid her (I didn't like her anyway) because I didn't want to interact with her outside of school.
I think part of this stemmed from an article I read on one of the news sites about the murder of a 22-year old who belonged to 'two communities'--the 'real' world, one would suspect, and MySpace. That got me started thinking about how we perceive ourselves, and how others perceive us. If someone who knew you only online met you in real life, would they find that you were any different than what they expected?
Or even this scenario--if someone from work, say, saw you outside of work, how different would you have become?
I say this because I see myself wearing different masks in my every day life. It's disconcerting--in the least--when someone from one piece of my life connects with another piece, especially if I really don't have anything in common with that person.
Once I met a lady from work and her husband at Burlington, of all places. And another time, a guy from work hailed me across the checkout lanes at Meijer--another unwanted occurence.
And both times were weird, because I am a different person outside of work. Work--and the relationships between those I work with (save for a very few) is just that. Work. My way to pay my bills so I can do what is important to me, like live my 'real' life. ;)
When I leave the office, my mindset shifts. I will no more think about my job than I would, say, a Dodo. It ceases to exist. I put that mask away until I have to go to work again.
My masks are not that different. But they exist--very subtly in some occassions--and sometimes, when two pieces of my life collide, I find it difficult to accept the mergings. If that makes sense at all.
I think that's part of the reason why I tend to isolate myself--not because my Online Mask (which is made up of a couple of different masks, in truth) is any huge celebrity, but because that's the Mask that I've chosen to let people see. And if I wanted to be really honest, that's the Mask that is the closest to being me, if any mask could be closer. Warts and all. :)
I find the division between the Work Mask and the other masks I wear to be the most distinct. And maybe I'm analyzing this too much, but it seems that even with the sharing of personal histories that has happened with some of my corworkers, some of them would have no earthly idea what to make of the 'real' me. I find that awfully amusing.
I was never one for posturing or pretending that I am anyone other than myself. So it's hard for me sometimes, to remember which mask I'm supposed to be wearing.
Okay, I could go on like this for hours. And I've probably not explained this very well; when it comes to things like this, Grey seems to be able to say what I mean without breaking a sweat. :)
***EDIT*** Dad suggested that it's like when you were in school and happened to see one of your teachers out of the classroom. So I guess it's like a familiarity thing--like when Dad's koi jumped out of the aquarium that one year and landed on the porch floor. My subconscious, "There's a fish on the floor" long before my conscious mind caught up with the strangeness of it and did something about it, namely grab the fish and put it back into the tank. ;)
Okay, and in the teacher vein--I once saw my band teacher at Wal-Mart or KMart or something like that. It was very strange. I actually went out of my way to avoid her (I didn't like her anyway) because I didn't want to interact with her outside of school.
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