I'm not going to admit how many of these I've actually had happen to me...
A Writer's Guide to Procrastination:
1. Wake up. Check your email. Check the blogs. Get caught up in writing a reply to someone, and in the process, get a great idea.
2. Write it down.
3. Fiddle with it a bit.
4. Start writing. Oh, yeah. Now you're in the zone.
5. Two hours later, realize you need to do some research. But first, breakfast, so you pour yourself some cereal and take it upstairs.
6. While you're online, you might as well check your auctions, your email, and the blogs that weren't updated this morning.
7. Oh yeah, you didn't get the laundry out of the dryer last night.
8. And you haven't done this dishes yet.
9. Realize you never did the research you planned to do, and already two more hours have passed.
10. Take out the laundry, or, if it's too wrinkled, throw a damp towel into the dryer and turn it back on. (If you don't have any damp towels, run upstairs to gather up some dirty laundry to put in the washer. Might as well check your email while you're at it; you never know...)
11. Do this as many times as it takes until you finally take it out of the dryer.
12. While you're down the basement, realize you haven't gotten anything out for supper. You'll have to come back for it...
13. Take the laundry upstairs. Check your email. Oh, yeah, the auctions too... and you might as well update your blog.
14. An hour later, realize you forgot to get supper out. Go down the basement. And what about lunch?
15. Remember that you were supposed to take a package to the post office two days ago. Pack it up. Take it upstairs.
16. Keys. Purse. Upstairs. Might as well check the email while you're at it; you never know.
17. Realize you still haven't taken stuff out for supper. Grab your purse. Stomp downstairs. There's the package. On your way out the door, realize your flowers need to be watered. Water them. Eat an apple. You need to lose weight anyway.
18. Go to the Post Office! There you go. Something to cross off your list. No, you don't need any stamps. Or do you? You can't remember, because your desk is so piled with papers that you haven't seen the stamps for weeks. (Go electronic bill payments!)
19. Buy stamps anyway. Drive home. On the way, remember that you have to stop at the grocery. But you left the list at home. (If there is a list...) You think you remember what you need, and you're already out, so why not stop?
20. $40 later, you load up the car and drive home. On the way, you remember that you still haven't taken anything out for supper.
21. Come home. Put away the groceries. Stack the ones to go down the basement by the door. Check your email. (You never know...)
22. Oh, yeah! Supper! Before you forget, run downstairs. Grab something out of the freezer. Shout "Ha ha!" as you sprint up the stairs and stick it in the microwave to defrost.
23. Realize you haven't gotten the mail yet. Your purse is upstairs. Might as well check your email... Oh look. Someone's on ICQ. Say hi. And weren't you supposed to write today? Open up your WIP. Oh, yeah. You know exactly what's going to happen now...
24. Three hours later...
25. You glance at the clock. That can't be right. Realize you were supposed to be getting the mail. Look outside. It's dark. Oh. And not only dark, it's bedtime. You have to get up for work in the morning. Did you eat supper? You can't quite remember. You walk downstairs, and remember the dishes. Oh yeah.
26. You do the dishes. You forgot your key upstairs, so you go to get it so you can get the mail. Might as well check your email... nope, no acceptance letters.
27. The mail can wait. You walk into your bedroom... oops. The laundry is piled on the bed, ready to be folded. Even damp towels can't help it now.
28. Debate. Do you fold the laundry or wait until tomorrow?
29. Check your email while you're trying to decide.
30. Argh. Make a half-hearted attempt to fold some laundry, but your mind is not on it. When you fold a shirt inside out, decide that you're too tired.
31. Shove all the laundry into the baskets and set them in various spots around your bedroom where you are sure to stumble into them in the middle of the night.
32. Brush your teeth. Oops. You were supposed to do yoga before bed, but it's too late now. What did you do today, anyway? It's all a blur...
33. Climb into bed. Wait a second. Did you lock the door?
34. You climb out of bed. Stomp downstairs. Check the door--it's locked. Open the fridge to pour yourself some orange juice, and...
35. Remember you put the meat for supper in the microwave. Six hours ago.
36. Sighing, you open the microwave. Peer at the chicken breasts. Ick.
37. You furtively slide them into the garbage and hope no one notices. Realize you're hungry. Pour yourself a bowl of cereal.
38. Well, if you're going to eat cereal, you might as well have something to read.
39. And you're almost done with the book, so you might as well finish it.
40. Look at the clock when you find yourself nodding off. Oh. It's three in the morning. Shouldn't you be in bed?
41. Back upstairs, yawning. You refuse to check your email at three in the morning; you're NOT addicted to the internet. You just want a reply from a publisher, that's all. At least with the mail, you only have to check the mailbox once a day, because there is only one delivery per day. But email could come at any time.
42. You climb into bed. Realize you have to go to the bathroom.
43. Did you brush your teeth?
44. Finally, no more distractions. You stub your toe as you're walking across the dark room, and curse. Loudly.
45. For the third time, you climb into bed. Check your alarm to make sure it's going to go off. Feel rather proud of yourself that you didn't forget to do this.
46. Close your eyes.
47. Just before you drift off to sleep, you get a great idea.
48. Grind your teeth. Do you wake up and write it down or drift away?
49. It's a really good idea. You fumble around for a pen and scribble something on the paper you always keep beside your bed.
50. And finally, you fall asleep.
A Writer's Guide to Procrastination:
1. Wake up. Check your email. Check the blogs. Get caught up in writing a reply to someone, and in the process, get a great idea.
2. Write it down.
3. Fiddle with it a bit.
4. Start writing. Oh, yeah. Now you're in the zone.
5. Two hours later, realize you need to do some research. But first, breakfast, so you pour yourself some cereal and take it upstairs.
6. While you're online, you might as well check your auctions, your email, and the blogs that weren't updated this morning.
7. Oh yeah, you didn't get the laundry out of the dryer last night.
8. And you haven't done this dishes yet.
9. Realize you never did the research you planned to do, and already two more hours have passed.
10. Take out the laundry, or, if it's too wrinkled, throw a damp towel into the dryer and turn it back on. (If you don't have any damp towels, run upstairs to gather up some dirty laundry to put in the washer. Might as well check your email while you're at it; you never know...)
11. Do this as many times as it takes until you finally take it out of the dryer.
12. While you're down the basement, realize you haven't gotten anything out for supper. You'll have to come back for it...
13. Take the laundry upstairs. Check your email. Oh, yeah, the auctions too... and you might as well update your blog.
14. An hour later, realize you forgot to get supper out. Go down the basement. And what about lunch?
15. Remember that you were supposed to take a package to the post office two days ago. Pack it up. Take it upstairs.
16. Keys. Purse. Upstairs. Might as well check the email while you're at it; you never know.
17. Realize you still haven't taken stuff out for supper. Grab your purse. Stomp downstairs. There's the package. On your way out the door, realize your flowers need to be watered. Water them. Eat an apple. You need to lose weight anyway.
18. Go to the Post Office! There you go. Something to cross off your list. No, you don't need any stamps. Or do you? You can't remember, because your desk is so piled with papers that you haven't seen the stamps for weeks. (Go electronic bill payments!)
19. Buy stamps anyway. Drive home. On the way, remember that you have to stop at the grocery. But you left the list at home. (If there is a list...) You think you remember what you need, and you're already out, so why not stop?
20. $40 later, you load up the car and drive home. On the way, you remember that you still haven't taken anything out for supper.
21. Come home. Put away the groceries. Stack the ones to go down the basement by the door. Check your email. (You never know...)
22. Oh, yeah! Supper! Before you forget, run downstairs. Grab something out of the freezer. Shout "Ha ha!" as you sprint up the stairs and stick it in the microwave to defrost.
23. Realize you haven't gotten the mail yet. Your purse is upstairs. Might as well check your email... Oh look. Someone's on ICQ. Say hi. And weren't you supposed to write today? Open up your WIP. Oh, yeah. You know exactly what's going to happen now...
24. Three hours later...
25. You glance at the clock. That can't be right. Realize you were supposed to be getting the mail. Look outside. It's dark. Oh. And not only dark, it's bedtime. You have to get up for work in the morning. Did you eat supper? You can't quite remember. You walk downstairs, and remember the dishes. Oh yeah.
26. You do the dishes. You forgot your key upstairs, so you go to get it so you can get the mail. Might as well check your email... nope, no acceptance letters.
27. The mail can wait. You walk into your bedroom... oops. The laundry is piled on the bed, ready to be folded. Even damp towels can't help it now.
28. Debate. Do you fold the laundry or wait until tomorrow?
29. Check your email while you're trying to decide.
30. Argh. Make a half-hearted attempt to fold some laundry, but your mind is not on it. When you fold a shirt inside out, decide that you're too tired.
31. Shove all the laundry into the baskets and set them in various spots around your bedroom where you are sure to stumble into them in the middle of the night.
32. Brush your teeth. Oops. You were supposed to do yoga before bed, but it's too late now. What did you do today, anyway? It's all a blur...
33. Climb into bed. Wait a second. Did you lock the door?
34. You climb out of bed. Stomp downstairs. Check the door--it's locked. Open the fridge to pour yourself some orange juice, and...
35. Remember you put the meat for supper in the microwave. Six hours ago.
36. Sighing, you open the microwave. Peer at the chicken breasts. Ick.
37. You furtively slide them into the garbage and hope no one notices. Realize you're hungry. Pour yourself a bowl of cereal.
38. Well, if you're going to eat cereal, you might as well have something to read.
39. And you're almost done with the book, so you might as well finish it.
40. Look at the clock when you find yourself nodding off. Oh. It's three in the morning. Shouldn't you be in bed?
41. Back upstairs, yawning. You refuse to check your email at three in the morning; you're NOT addicted to the internet. You just want a reply from a publisher, that's all. At least with the mail, you only have to check the mailbox once a day, because there is only one delivery per day. But email could come at any time.
42. You climb into bed. Realize you have to go to the bathroom.
43. Did you brush your teeth?
44. Finally, no more distractions. You stub your toe as you're walking across the dark room, and curse. Loudly.
45. For the third time, you climb into bed. Check your alarm to make sure it's going to go off. Feel rather proud of yourself that you didn't forget to do this.
46. Close your eyes.
47. Just before you drift off to sleep, you get a great idea.
48. Grind your teeth. Do you wake up and write it down or drift away?
49. It's a really good idea. You fumble around for a pen and scribble something on the paper you always keep beside your bed.
50. And finally, you fall asleep.
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