Okay, that didn't last long. Sorry. I have to vent.
WHY IN THE HELL CAN'T HE JUST SAY IT DIDN'T WORK OUT AND BE DONE WITH IT?!?!?!!!
*pant, pant*
ARGH! Idiot boy.
He feels he has to blame me for everything, multiple times, in detail, every single stinking time we are in the room together. That horse is dead, and has been dead for months. I'm not sure why he thinks I care what he believes. I just can't stand it when he stands there and drones on and on and on and on...
I mean, I don't want him to leave yet, as the bills are not caught up and I'll be damned if I won't make him help. But this constant irritation is getting on my nerves.
"You're going to be an old, lonely woman. You never loved me. You lied to everyone. You're a... (what did he call it?) manipulating bitch. You have no friends. You might be successful, but what's more important, success or a family?"
I want to tell him that I don't give a fuck what he thinks I will be. That he can take his stuff and get the hell out and leave me the hell alone because I DON'T CARE WHAT HE DOES WITH THE REST OF HIS LIFE. He has ruined any respect I might have had for his "noble" offer to help with the bills. I want to tell him that I have friends (oh, and online friends don't count of course) and a family, and that I might want to have kids one of these days, just not with him. But I'm Being Polite. I'm not going to get into a knock-down, drag-out fight, because he means nothing to me anymore. I don't have to respond to him if I don't want to. He's just an irritation that will go away soon enough.
(Sorry about the language. My verbal skills suffer the angrier I get.)
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, DAMMIT!! I don't care what you believe; I don't want to hear about what you're going to do with the rest of your life; I'm not going to miraculously change and want you back. Hell, I can't even stand to look at you anymore. When I look at you after one of your diatrabes, I feel scorn. That's it. Scorn. Nothing else. Pity, too, I guess.
He is out of my hair now. Thank goodness. I won't (hopefully) see him again until Monday, God willing.
Okay, this is a good reason to go bid on auctions. The sooner I get rid of him the better. This is beginning to be a bit irritating. Oh, hell, it passed 'a bit irritating' months ago.
I do not have infinite patience. Actually, I have quite a short fuse. But I'm trying to be patient and tell myself that this will be over soon, and that I will be free to live my life the way I want to live my life without having to worry about what HE will think.
My coworker told me I must be a saint to put up with this shit for so long. She said, "I would have suffered for a few months and kicked him out a long time ago."
"Yes, well," says I, who thinks that would be a Very Nice Thing to do right about now.
This is just One More Thing I have to get through. It will pass. I know this, and I forge ahead by posting bunches of auctions. (Of course it's supposed to rain tonight too...) But it's damned irritating while it lasts.
I made myself a vow the other day, to not respond to his repeated efforts to make me go ballistic. Not going to happen. I will superimpose his face on a character if I have to and murder that character as messily as possible. I will imagine myself living alone, or with my parents, not worried about how I'm going to pay for something or whether or not I'll get yelled at when "my other half" (haha) gets home.
That looks good to me. Oh, yeah. *imagines*
WHY IN THE HELL CAN'T HE JUST SAY IT DIDN'T WORK OUT AND BE DONE WITH IT?!?!?!!!
*pant, pant*
ARGH! Idiot boy.
He feels he has to blame me for everything, multiple times, in detail, every single stinking time we are in the room together. That horse is dead, and has been dead for months. I'm not sure why he thinks I care what he believes. I just can't stand it when he stands there and drones on and on and on and on...
I mean, I don't want him to leave yet, as the bills are not caught up and I'll be damned if I won't make him help. But this constant irritation is getting on my nerves.
"You're going to be an old, lonely woman. You never loved me. You lied to everyone. You're a... (what did he call it?) manipulating bitch. You have no friends. You might be successful, but what's more important, success or a family?"
I want to tell him that I don't give a fuck what he thinks I will be. That he can take his stuff and get the hell out and leave me the hell alone because I DON'T CARE WHAT HE DOES WITH THE REST OF HIS LIFE. He has ruined any respect I might have had for his "noble" offer to help with the bills. I want to tell him that I have friends (oh, and online friends don't count of course) and a family, and that I might want to have kids one of these days, just not with him. But I'm Being Polite. I'm not going to get into a knock-down, drag-out fight, because he means nothing to me anymore. I don't have to respond to him if I don't want to. He's just an irritation that will go away soon enough.
(Sorry about the language. My verbal skills suffer the angrier I get.)
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, DAMMIT!! I don't care what you believe; I don't want to hear about what you're going to do with the rest of your life; I'm not going to miraculously change and want you back. Hell, I can't even stand to look at you anymore. When I look at you after one of your diatrabes, I feel scorn. That's it. Scorn. Nothing else. Pity, too, I guess.
He is out of my hair now. Thank goodness. I won't (hopefully) see him again until Monday, God willing.
Okay, this is a good reason to go bid on auctions. The sooner I get rid of him the better. This is beginning to be a bit irritating. Oh, hell, it passed 'a bit irritating' months ago.
I do not have infinite patience. Actually, I have quite a short fuse. But I'm trying to be patient and tell myself that this will be over soon, and that I will be free to live my life the way I want to live my life without having to worry about what HE will think.
My coworker told me I must be a saint to put up with this shit for so long. She said, "I would have suffered for a few months and kicked him out a long time ago."
"Yes, well," says I, who thinks that would be a Very Nice Thing to do right about now.
This is just One More Thing I have to get through. It will pass. I know this, and I forge ahead by posting bunches of auctions. (Of course it's supposed to rain tonight too...) But it's damned irritating while it lasts.
I made myself a vow the other day, to not respond to his repeated efforts to make me go ballistic. Not going to happen. I will superimpose his face on a character if I have to and murder that character as messily as possible. I will imagine myself living alone, or with my parents, not worried about how I'm going to pay for something or whether or not I'll get yelled at when "my other half" (haha) gets home.
That looks good to me. Oh, yeah. *imagines*
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